Just A Myth
by Brittsis
Summary: Everyone believe Shepard is dead and she's more than happy to let them believe it. With a new name and ship, she minds her own business. But it's hard to avoid the fame she built. Rumors spread of her reappearance throughout the galaxy. She joins the ranks of Big Foot and Elvis but one man began to think the rumors are true. Post Game, Destroy.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: Hey guys, been playing with this one for awhile. I hope you like it. Always up for prompts.

-brittsis

* * *

They won the war but at great cost. The red light had combed through the galaxy, destroying the Reapers and their army. The geth shut down and the relays damaged. The Normandy and its crew lost. The galaxy's heroes sacrificed for peace. Grief and joy echoed through everyone's hearts as tears were shed. Then the clean up started.

After the Battle for Earth everything was chaos. Dead were innumerable and the injured overflowed the hospitals. Identification became a nightmare and shortcuts were made. Many were never identified or found, considered turned to ash by the Reaper beam. Shepard was one of these. Never found, never buried, and never forgotten.

Ten years later and the galaxy is still limping. The relays were fixed but no longer work the same. No longer does a jump take a few minutes or hours. A simple trip now lasts months at a time. More relays were built in an effort to make shorter jumps. Stations or settlements were constructed. Entire cities now float in space in range of every relay, making pit stops where ships could restock and refuel.

Gradually life is returning to normal. One planet at a time cities are rebuilt and people return. But the scar is still there. Supplies are low and everyone is struggling. Governments started rationing and regulating the rebuilds. Expansion was ground to a halt and ship building was closely monitored. As a result a civilian shipping market flourished. If you had a ship, you could live like a king ferrying people and materials back and forth.

* * *

Steven Hackett hated the heat. It stuck to his skin, causing sweat to soak his clothing. The two suns were high in the sky, baking the small city in the middle of nowhere. Guinda was a pit stop, built within minutes of one of the new relays. It was home to a permanent population of approximately sixty people. Their homes circled the docks and trade house to the east. It was the only planet in the system with a livable atmosphere but averaged a one hundred and five degree most of the year. He wouldn't have come but rumors and clues said she'd be here.

His skin tingled and heart ached at the thought of her. Hackett first met Alex Shepard forty years ago. The First Contact war had just finished and his ship docked on earth for leave and repairs. The then Lieutenant Hackett's CO, Commander Daniel Shepard, family came to the dock to great the man. The two year old stood beside her mother, smiling at every soldier that passed. It warmed his heart to see Daniel embrace his family and finally relax. Shepard introduced his squad and Hannah insisted everyone go home for dinner.

Over the years he'd stayed in contact with Hannah, even after her husband was killed in action. He loved them like his own. Alex Shepard grew into one hell of a woman. She had her mother's looks and her father's fire. Alex was quick to laugh and never let anything keep her down for long. Hackett remembered when Hannah called him crying because her baby girl enlisted. Hannah begged him to talk to her, to convince her to stay a civilian.

Alex only smiled at him and patted his cheek, telling him that she was never a civilian and never could be. He watched out for her, making a point to see her whenever possible. It wasn't until she died the first time that he came to a startling realization. Steven Hackett had fallen in love with his friend's daughter.

Steven kept his feelings private. He mourned her loss and supported Hannah. Then she returned a smile still on her lips. The first time he spotted her, his world fell out from under him. Steven was convinced he imagined her. Then she strolled right up to him, patted his cheek, and smiled at him.

Still he didn't reveal his heart. Instead he harbored his feelings and supported her from the shadows. Hackett did everything in his power to help her and prepare. Once again he made an effort to see her whenever possible and fell deeper and deeper in love.

His world shattered as reports came in after the Reaper War. As time went he slowly came to terms that he lost her again. Hackett was sick with grief as causality lists grew. Hannah had passed in the battle and Alex was never found. Everything important to him was gone.

Hackett survived by staying concentrated on work. He aided in the rebuilding and was soon elected Prime Minister. He served for six years, doing his best to forget. Then whispers reached him. Someone spotted Shepard on Tuchanka. Rumor said she was living on Omega. Hearsay hinted that she traveled the galaxy aiding the rebuilds. She became a myth, spread by everyone to raise hope. For a whole year he tried to forget the rumors. He would ignore them and not allow his heart a glimmer of hope. But it wasn't working and he wasn't sleeping.

The 2193 elections came up and Hackett didn't renew his term. He stepped aside, stored his belongings, and left Earth. For three years he searched. Hackett went from system to system often traveling for months to reach his next destination. He hunted down each rumor until he could piece it together.

Somehow Alex had survived and wasn't identified. She left Earth behind and went to Omega, staying there for almost nine months. She worked hard and saved, buying herself a ship. Another two months or hard work and it was space worthy. Named Gryphon, the ship left port with a crew of four. It was a civilian transport and suspected smuggler and was docked here in Guinda. He finally caught up. Or so he hoped.

Hackett hitched his sea bag on his shoulder and pushed through the docks. People crowded the walk way. There were six ships in dock, filling Guinda's dry docks. Seven more circled in orbit, using shuttles to ferry men and supplies back and forth. The local authorities patrolled the docs, checking permits and keeping peace. Captains stood near their ships, monitoring their crew and bartering with clients. Civilians battered for passage and credits exchanged hands. He'd been stopped a few times but he turned every one down. He only wanted one ship.

The Gryphon was docked at the end. Its bays doors open as crates were carried aboard. A young human male stood beside the bay, talking with a volus. He gestured a few times then finally smiled, taking the volus's credit chit. Hackett walked over and dropped his bag at the juvenile's feet.

"Good afternoon, looking for shipping or passage?" The man asked as he made notes on a data pad.

"Passage."

He nodded, "Name?"

"Hackett, Steven."

The kid looked up then, shock in his eyes. "No kidding?"

Hackett only handed the kid a data pad with his travel papers loaded on screen. The kid reviewed the paper work and transferred the data to his own pad. "Well this will be an interesting trip. Where you heading Admiral Hackett?"

"Earth."

The kid nodded, "The long trip then. We'll be heading that way but not directly. We've got a stop at Palavan, Omega, Irune, and a few others. Earth is the last destination and you're looking at about a year of travel, if we don't get any trouble."

Hackett raised a brow, "You normally have trouble?"

The kid shrugged, "Depends on the seas Admiral. Could be we run into pirates or slavers. Or we get to one of our stops and there's a wait list for docking. Or we get somewhere and the authorities decide to do a spot check for contraband, not that they'll find any."

Hackett watched the sly grin curve his lips and wondered if the rumors on smuggling were true. "How much?"

"Well," the kid drew out. "We've got four guest rooms, two have already been booked. The volus booked the smallest and cheapest and an asari already claimed another. That leaves the honeymoon suite and the green room. The green room has a bunk and locker, not much room for anything else. It shares the community bathroom with the other guests. The honeymoon, on the other hand, has a bit more leg room. It sports its own washroom and a full size bed. Only room bigger is the Captain's and she's not one to share. Seeing as you're in for the long haul…"

Hackett grinned. The kid was hinting that he could get the larger room. It would cost more but would be less likely to aggravate cabin fever. But Hackett was use to cramped quarters from the Alliance. The green room sounded about the size or a normal officer's quarters. "I'll take the green room."

The kid sighed and shook his head, "If you're sure…. Okay we're looking at about twenty thousand credits. That includes food, room and board, and any activities we provide."

Hackett was impressed. They were close to the veil and Earth was a long ways away. Most ships would charge thrice that for a bunk for a long tripper. "Deal."

The kid took his payment and shook his hand. "Welcome to the Gryphon, Sir. Name's Christopher, but everyone calls me Chris. I'm the ship's engineer. Captain Willows is out in the city making a few shipping deals but we'll be shipping off at sixteen hundred. Would you like to come aboard now or meet back here later?"

"I'll come aboard now."

Chris nodded and opened the com. "Kiral, one aboard now. Green room, full trip."

"On my way." The comms sounded back.

Chris smiled at him. "I've got to stay out here, Captain's orders. But Kiral is the pilot and she'll show you your room."

"Thank you." Hackett picked his bag up just as a female turian emerged in the docking bay.


	2. Chapter 2

Years of living aboard ships and milling dock yards taught her many things. She knew who to bribe and who to avoid. She knew how to disguise illegal merchandise as common supplies to fool the law enforcement. It was knowledge you'd think a former Alliance marine wouldn't use. But Alex Shepard wasn't a marine anymore. Alex Shepard was now Alex Willows, Captain of the civilian frigate Gryphon and suspected smuggler.

At first she didn't remember. She woke up from a coma with most of her memories gone. Her armor and dog tags were destroyed leaving no hint to her identity. It wasn't until they began her physical therapy a year after the battle that she started to remember. As everything came back Alex wanted to be herself less and less. Her family, her friends, everyone she ever cared for was gone. Complete strangers worshipped her and there were whispers of naming her a saint. Babies were named after her. It was a nightmare.

Alex took her grandmother's maiden's name. She left Earth and went to Omega. There she used the one connection she knew would keep her secret. Aria had been surprised to see Alex. They had a few drinks and Alex cashed her favor in. The Queen of Omega helped forge her new identity and became a silent partner in Alex's new business. She built her crew and traveled the galaxy living a simple life.

Kiral Stavros is her pilot, a turian woman that left turian government after the war. She was hell of a pilot but was mad at the state. A conspiracist, Kiral takes everything with a grain of salt and questions it all.

Gatatog Luka is one of her ground crew. A krogan vanguard, he's her biotic and hard hitter. A constant shadow whenever she leaves the ship. Alex saved his life shortly after starting her enterprise. Feeling indebted he joined her crew.

Meris Arrian is her other ground crew. She ran away from her family and a breeding contract five years ago and jumped the first ship she found. Alex offered her a job in replacement of a ticket. The salarian engineer agreed.

Christopher Valle was her final crew mate and the only one that knew her real identity. He was only nine when she found him on Omega. His parents were killed during the war, leaving the boy to fend for himself. He tried to pick her pocket but she caught him. Christopher tried to get away but Alex wouldn't allow him. Instead of turning him into the authorities, she adopted him and sent him to a private school on Earth.

Six months ago, Christopher left school and snuck aboard. The two argued loudly until Alex gave up and allowed him to stay. Alex didn't admit it but she enjoyed having his stubborn ass around. He reminded her of herself at his age.

Reaching the ship, Alex found the cargo area already full and Chris waiting for her. She motioned Luka and Meris to store the last of their cargo as she joined the kid. She smiled at him as she took the manifest from him. "Everything ready?"

Chris nodded, "All the rooms are filled and cargo is secure. As soon as our special gear is stowed we are cleared to leave."

Alex scrolled through, looking at the list of shipments they were hired to move. She laughed at the construction supplies Palavan government hired them to move. There was nothing like an official note to bypass customs. "And our guests?"

"We have Dagan Tal'dash, a batarian holy man in the honeymoon."

Alex raised a brow, "Does he know the Captain's human?"

Chris nodded, "Said he didn't believe in the prejudice like the rest of his race."

"As long as there isn't any trouble."

"We have Alain Tur, a volus merchant. Half the cargo is his and he's accompanying it to Irune. He's in the small room, said he didn't take up much space. Kyrie T'Sith is an asari scholar riding to the Citadel; she's in the red room."

Alex nodded, "And the green room?"

Chris grinned, "You'll never believe it. We've got a war hero aboard!"

Alex looked up with surprise. Most military took military transports. It's cheaper and they don't make unnecessary stops. "Who is it?"

"Admiral Hackett."

She froze, her body going tense. How could he possibly know? Only two people knew that Alex Shepard didn't die during the war. Christopher would never have told and Aria was receiving too much profit to betray her. It had to be a coincidence. Either way it didn't matter, her game would be up. Alex had changed subtle things. She grew her hair out and dyed it black. Instead of the short fringe, she now kept it braided and down to the mid of her back. She had her eyes colored, masking her baby blues with a gold green. But he would recognize her.

Alex swallowed and pushed the fear down. It wouldn't change anything. She wasn't going back, she was happy here. "I'm heading to my cabin for a quick change. As soon as bay is clear tell Kiral to take off."

* * *

He waited in his cabin and unpacked while the final prep was made. The hair on his arm stood on end when the relay activated and grabbed them. He felt the floor drop then equalize and knew they were on their way. Hackett was used to the whole process and could always tell the minute ships made the jump. He was here now and for the next couple of months there was no backing out. He only wished his courage would hold.

"Good evening everyone. This is Captain Willows speaking. Would all crew and guest please report to the mess for debrief and dinner. That includes you too Kiral; put the ship on autopilot for one hour."

Hackett felt his legs go weak and lowered to his cot. Even after all this time he recognized her voice. He did it, he found her. Until now he didn't believe he'd succeed. Part of his mind felt that he was wasting his time. Until now. Standing from his bed, Hackett straightened his clothes and slowly recomposed himself.

It took but a few minutes to get to the mess. Alex wasn't there but the mess was full. He noted that, once again, Alex surrounded herself with an assortment of species. Volus, batarian, turian, asari, salarian, even a krogan crowded the small hall. It brought a smile to his lips to see such a familiar sight.

There weren't any chairs left so he leaned against a wall near the entrance. Chris waved at him from across the room just as the Captain entered.

Hackett felt like someone sucker punched him. His stomach turned and chills ran over his skin. Alex, his Alex was alive and just within reach.


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: Explicit scene ahead. Just a warning

-brittsis

Alex had noticed him as soon as she entered the room. Her eyes had been drawn right to him. He looked just as she reminded him. Laugh lines surrounded his lips and worry lines creased his forehead, age marking him. He held himself in a way that only experience and wisdom could provide. It brought her back. Memories of lunch dates and whispered nights, the touch of his hands when he touched her, how his eyes would brighten when she smiled at him. It all came rushing back and it made her heart ache.

She'd never admit it, but Alex had more than a slight crush for Hackett. He'd been her parents' friend then later hers. Always there just when she needed him. Over the years his presence comforted her. Time passed and slowly her feelings matured until just the mention of him ignited a fire in her gut. Alex had come close to confessing a few times. But each time she'd skip back from the edge and avoid that final leap.

Alex recognized Hackett for who he was. There'd be no casual with him, no walking away. Truth was he frightened her. Long ago she made a vow to never marry. Her choice of career was trying on families. She watched as it strained her parent's marriage and wouldn't allow that kind of pain in. Admiral Hackett would have tested that vow. It had been better for both of them to remain friends.

She allowed herself to smile at him, allowed that recognition to pass between them. He smiled back and took a step toward her. Alex shook her head and turned from him. They would talk later, in private.

"Welcome to the Gryphon," Alex greeted. "I'm Alex Willows, Captain of the ship. If you have any questions or concerns don't be afraid to find me. If you can't find me, look for Kiral. She's the pilot and my second in command. She's in charge when I'm off ship."

She motioned to the turian woman that was pacing the room. Kiral stopped long enough to flare her mandibles in a grin and wave.

"Luka and Meris are our security." Alex continued, pointing toward the krogan and salarian. "If you don't carry your own weapon or are not versed in warfare find one of them in case of pirates. We've been attacked a few times but never taken."

Luka chuckled and allowed his biotics to shimmer along his body. "Don't worry; we won't let the bad guys keep you."

"Last one only had to endure a few hours of torture." Meris grinned. "We got to him before he died."

It was silent for a few minutes before they both broke into laughter. The guests fidgeted nervously but Alex heard Hackett chuckle lightly behind her. She waited until the pair quieted down before continuing.

"You met Christopher when you purchased the ticket. If you want something special at any stop bring it to him. He's requisition it for you." Alex explained before narrowing her eyes and allowing all joking to leave her face. "He's also only seventeen, so no touching."

Chris groaned and hid his bright red face in his hands. Luka thumped him on the back as Meris spoke up. "Come on Cap, kids seventeen. Let him have a little fun."

Their asari guest duck her head as the batarian sat a little straighter in his chair. Alex noticed it all and made note to speak with the both of them. "I have just a few simple rules. One, you do as your told. When I give an order it's not for shits and giggles."

"Two, biweekly evacuation drills. You'll never know when or how but the alarm will sound and you'll be expected to participate. Trust me; it's not fun to get sucked into space."

"Three, don't eat the food marked with a red check. That's dextro food. If you haven't noticed we don't have a doctor on board. All of the crew is certified medic but we can't do much about protein poisoning."

"Four, no physical fighting. You can yell at each other all you want. First one to throw a punch gets thrown into storage to cool off. We don't waist energy and it gets awful cold down there during transit."

Alex allowed them to sink in before smiling at them. "First stop is Palavan. It's about a three week trip if everything goes as planned. Any questions?"

The asari nodded, "Do you have any schedule for meal times?"

"Good one," Alex pointed behind her to a terminal that hung on the wall. "The menu for the day and meal times will be listed there every morning. Breakfast is at oh seven hundred to oh nine hundred ship time. You miss meal time, you cook for yourself and clean up after yourself."

"And no food in the damn cabins," Luka spoke up. "If you have any bring it out here. Some punk kept cookies in his cabin two years ago. We landed on Tuchanka and those damn pyjaks invaded. Took months to get rid of them."

"This is going to be our home for a long time, let's try to keep it livable." Alex added. "Anything else?"

When no one answered, Alex nodded and opened her omnitool. "Good."

She pressed a few buttons and alarms went off. "What are you all sitting there for? Ship's under attack and you need to get to your pods. Luka, Meris, get a move on."

The ship jerked to the side and Kiral cursed. "That's why you fucking wanted me to come down."

Alex laughed as everyone rushed to their feet and began to move. It didn't take long for the mess to empty. She leaned against the table and crossed her arms only to find Hackett still in the room watching her. Her heart stopped a beat as her eyes narrowed. "I believe I gave you and order Admiral."

Hackett raised a brow and pushed away from the wall. "It's only a drill Alex. I believe I know how to evacuate a ship."

She pressed a button on her omnitool again, causing the ship to jerk again and causing him to stumble a bit. "Not my ship. Move it soldier."

* * *

The drill was over and Kiral had regained control of her ship. Alex had to endure twenty minutes of the woman's ranting but it was worth it. There was nothing like the impression of being fired on to get people moving. It had gone smoothly around the fourth time around but she was certain her passengers knew what to do. Alex wouldn't lose anyone should they be attacked.

She retreated to her cabin and collapsed at her terminal. A mountain of paperwork waited for her and Aria was bugging her for an updated itinerary. She turned the machine on only to stare at the screen. Her mind was occupied with visions of Steven running through the halls. He moved effortlessly through the small ship, being just where he needed to be. He looked delicious in those jeans and leather jacket.

Alex groaned and pushed away from her desk. Why is it that that man turned her into a teenager with uncontrollable hormones? When he was around she found it hard to not think about him naked between her legs, his muscles flexing as he pumped in and out of her. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Those whiskers would brush against her skin as lips traced every mark on her body. Alex knew he'd be an attentive lover and she bit her lips at the images going through her mind.

Calloused hands traced her skin as he whispered in her ear. A knee would press against her, gently urging her to open her legs. She'd press against him as he found her breast. A skilled mouth would tease her, drawing her nipple to attention and just when she'd think she couldn't take anymore, he'd start on the other one.

She'd beg then, pressing against him. Steven chuckled and pulled away, causing her to growl in frustration. Light kisses would trail her body as hands would draw her legs further and further apart until she'd be open to him. Lips would touch her just there and she'd arch off the bed. A teasing tongue would lash out and she'd…

A knock on the door drew her suddenly from her fantasy and dropped her back in reality. Alex relished shockingly that her hand had undid her pants and began to dive into her underwear. Cursing, she adjusted her clothes and went to the door. She palmed it open and found the man himself standing there.

"Alex," He spoke softly, eyes raking her. "Can I come in?"


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: This chapter's a little short. You can see Alex's play by on my tumblr. Link on my profile

-brittsis

* * *

Hackett didn't wait for permission, instead pushing his way into the room and closing the door behind him. Once they had privacy he grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. She tried to protest but he just held her tighter until she relaxed. Worry left his body as he breathed her in. The longer he held her, the calmer he became.

"Well this was unexpected." Alex joked and pressed against his chest until he took a step back. She smiled and placed a comforting hand on his cheek. "I didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw you in the room."

Hackett sighed and gave himself a moment to compose his thoughts. His hand covered hers as he leaned into her touch. For this brief moment life was damn near perfect. But he came here with a reason. Twice he waited too long to confess. His courage wouldn't, couldn't fail him. He squeezed her hand and lowered it but kept hold of her hand. "I had to make sure you were really here first. Too often I imagine you. I'd see you out of the corner of my eye only to turn around and find it was someone else. You laughter would haunt me and some days I'd sit in my office waiting for you to walk through my door. How could you leave me like that?"

He watched as her face fell. Something flashed in her eyes, suspicion and anger just barely masking fear. She tried to take a step away but he wouldn't let her hand go. Too much needed to be said before he could walk away.

Alex narrowed her eyes, "Let me go Steven. I don't have to explain myself to you."

His head shook as his grip tightened. "I'm not letting go because you'll run away."

"I've never run from anything!"

He leaned in close, eyes barrowing into hers. "Bullshit."

She bared her teeth. "I left because I wanted to! I had nothing left! My mother was killed, one of the first ships to get blown apart when the Reapers countered our attack. One by one my team, my crew, sacrificed themselves so I could get that one step closer to the beam. Everything rested on my shoulders! Anderson was shot by my gun! I just stood there as the trigger was squeezed; there was nothing I could do. Then when I finally made it…"

"Fuck you, I don't owe you anything." Alex twisted his fingers with her bare hand until he was forced to release her. Turning from him, she left her room and stalked down the hall.

She made it but a few feet when he caught up to her. Hackett grabbed her shoulder and three her against the wall. With all his strength, he pinned her. She struggled and pushed, trying to free herself. Alex shifted and brought her knee up only to be blocked by him. Growling, she glared at him as she spoke slowly. "If you don't release me you'll be in for a world of hurt."

Hackett growled back, matching her temper. He had put too much into finding her to let her stalk away now. He had some words and she was going to hear them. "Not until I had my say."

Alex lifted her chin in defiance, "Then say it and get the fuck off my boat."

Eyes narrowed as he struggled to control his temper. "Don't test me Alex."

"What? I'm not Alliance anymore Admiral. You can't order me around."

"Never had to before," Steven replied.

"And doesn't that just tick you off?" She asked and tried to free herself again.

He growled warningly, "If you try for my balls again, Shepard, you will resent it."

Alex hissed then. Her head leaned back then came forward quickly, connecting with his nose. It didn't break but it did cause him to stagger back. "Shepard is dead. She died ten years ago with the rest of the goddamn heroes."

Hackett cursed as he tested his nose for blood. "Fuck Alex, why won't you listen?"

"Why should I?" She shouted at him.

"Because I love you!" He yelled back.

Alex froze, ice running through her veins. He took a step forward but she shook her head and stepped away from him. "No you don't."

Hackett laughed then, a grin spreading his lips. "Scares you don't it? Good because it's been scaring me for the last thirteen years."

Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to find the words. Every time she'd think of something it'd run away. She looked like a fish struggling to breathe air. It was a hilarious sight to see the great Commander Shepard speechless. Hackett kept watching her, that silly grin on his face and it wasn't helping. This was insane, there was no way he loved her. Too much history lay behind them, too much time. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

He tried to reach for her but she just avoided his reach again. "Because I was your superior officer? Because I was afraid of my own feelings? Or hell, because you were the daughter of a good friend? Too many reasons that don't matter any longer. I lost you twice now; I don't intend to try for the third."

"So you purchase a ticket on my ship and decide to tell me when there's no place for me to go?"

Hackett grinned at her, "Then you admit you'd run away if you could?"

She cursed and turned to leave. When her back was turned, he rushed forward and had her again. She cursed him as he pulled her in, arms tightening around her. It wasn't until he leaned in close that she realized what he intended to do.

"Don't you da…." Her protest was cut short by his lips.


	5. Chapter 5

The kiss seared her lips. It was a possession, meant to knock her senseless and weaken her knees. It worked. His lips glided over hers as teeth lightly nipped her lips. When she opened up to him, Hackett slid his tongue in and began the slow process of tasting her. His hands released her and framed his face with his hands. Alex's senses went into overload as her resolve slowly dissolved.

He came up for air and Alex was finally able to think. Anger flooded her bringing clarity with it. Her hand curled into a fist and she swung. Hackett stumbled back, shock and pain clouded his eyes. She stormed back to her room, ready to barricade herself inside until she could think.

Alex paused at the door, her fingers touching her lips. It hadn't been like anything she imagined. No it had been so much better. Her mouth still tingled and she could still taste him on her tongue. Cursing, she turned around and stomped back to the grinning Hackett.

"Don't get cocky." She hissed at him. Grabbing a hand full of his hair, she pulled him in and attacked his mouth. She bit his lip until he gasped. Alex released him, patted his cheek, and then walked back to her room. She locked the door then leaned against it. Oh boy, this was going to be an interesting tour.

* * *

Alex is a mess of confusion and pent up frustration. A week and a half has passed since he confessed and kissed her and Hackett hasn't tried anything. They'd fallen back into their old routine. He'd sit with her and they'd remember old times. His smile warmed her heart but his touch drove her insane.

Hackett was always touching her, just a caress or brush of skin. Each time her skin would tingle and the fire would ignite in her belly. He'd take her right to the edge then pull away. It was annoying as hell. She hadn't slept. Every time she closed her eyes Hackett's smile would flash in her vision. She'd try to sleep and Alex would feel his fingers like ghosts on her skin. Alex would wake up moaning and covered in sweat.

She would just have to seduce him. It was the only choice and the decision caused butterflies in her stomach. Alex couldn't remember the last time she'd set out to seduce someone. For that matter it had been ten years since someone had shared her bed. Garrus had been a friend. They'd turned to each other out of release and comfort. The two of them had come together naturally during the war. One would reach out and the other would take hold. No effort had been made.

It wasn't until the battle that Alex had discovered the truth. He had loved her fiercely. He loved her so much that Garrus had sacrificed himself. She could still remember the feel of his talons tossing her from Harbinger's beam. He had come the closest to claiming her heart that it still scared her.

She'd have to be more careful with Hackett. He already figured himself in love with her. It would be tricky but Alex believed she could guard her heart and enjoy him at the same time.

"Captain?" Kiral's voice over the intercom pulled her from her thoughts.

"What is it?"

"Come up to the bridge, I think you might want to see this."

* * *

Alex drummed her fingers on the display. An opportunity had displayed itself but should she take it. If she decided to go through with it a lot of laws would be broken. They had passengers and it would be hard to disguise the work. Unless someone could distract them.

"Think of the credit Alex," Kiral spoke up. "The government hasn't even announced the rebuild. They're going to take everything useful then keep it from the people that need it. At least we'd be spreading the wealth."

"At a one hundred percent mark up." Alex replied.

Kiral grinned, "Well of course but the credits, with the cash we could take a break after this tour. Stay groundside for a while. I miss the feel of solid earth, Alex."

Alex sighed, fighting the urge to smile. "And what about the passengers?"

"Get the kid to distract them."

"Hackett won't fall for it. I know him Kiral." Alex explained. "He won't sit aside while I go for a space walk."

"Then take him with you. Let Luka and Meris do the salvage. You and the Admiral can search for the dog tags. It will take half the time that way and we'll be flying before reinforcements can arrive."

It wasn't a bad plan. It wasn't everyday they came across a relay newly reconnected with a system unsalvaged. There were fewer and fewer opportunities as time passed. Alex straightened and nodded, "Make the stop Kiral."

* * *

"So tell me again, why are we going out there?" Hackett stressed as they suited up.

Alex sighed. She didn't want to reveal too much. She'd only informed him that a new relay had opened and had been short on the details. Luka and Meris exchanged a look with her as he pressed the issue again. They weren't comfortable with the fact that he was coming along. As a former politician that had the reputation for playing it straight he spelled danger. One wrong move and everything they worked for would be ruined.

"The relay just opened." Alex explained as she snapped her armor in place. "The scientists have left but the military hasn't moved in. There is always a gap of a couple weeks before any regulation is set up. The governments try to keep locations like this secret but it always gets out. A passing ship, someone is bribed, or a lucky guess is all it takes. Pirates, smugglers, and salvagers move in and pick wrecks and colonies clean. If we find an unexplored area, we move in and preserve what we can."

The lies came so easily as she finished with her armor and went to him, checking his seals. "You and I will collect dog tags to send home. Luka and Meris will look for heirlooms, items people took with them when they fled their homes. We return it to the families."

Hackett raised a brow at her while checking her seals. "So you're the one that sends in the recovered tags. You put a lot of minds at ease."

Alex smiled at him. "They deserve closer, everyone does."

"I didn't get it."

Her smile dropped. "I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

Hackett leaned in and silenced her with a brush of his lips, just a soft caress. Before she could react he lowered her helmet in place. "We'll talk about that later."

Her lips still tingled as he attached his helmet and headed for the airlock. Meris coughed and Alex turned to find the salarian watching her and Luka grinning. She growled out in warning. "Well get moving!"

* * *

They'd found a human ship this time. It held a few military but was mostly civilian. Meris had disconnected and salvaged several of the stations while Luka forced lockers open. It was a rich find and the two had already made several trips back to the ship to drop off their loads. Room by room they'd picked the place clean making sure to stay clear of the captain and her tail.

Luka grunted as he pressed against the door. According to the log an emissary had stayed in the room, being ferried to the Crucible. They expected a fair amount of loot to be inside. The door finally opened and what little atmosphere remained rushed out.

"Anything good?" Meris called out as she worked on dismantling a terminal.

Eyes surveyed the room and spotted a figure wedged into the corner of the room. Getting closer, Luka yelled out in excitement. They'd hit the mother lode. "Just an intact geth!"

"No way!" Meris hurried over and let out a laugh as she spotted the geth body. The quarians were paying out the ass for anything geth related. A whole geth was worth its own weight in credits.

"Help me carry it back then we'll call it." Luka pulled the body and guided it through the zero gee. Meris gathered her supplies and followed behind him. The two of them practically whistled as they moved through the ship.


	6. Chapter 6

Hackett watched her while they searched. She moved through the ship with an ease that only years of practice could afford. Her mag boots were active but not engaged. They were for emergency use only. Otherwise, she pushed herself effortlessly through the zero gravity. He was pleased to see that there was no fear. After the attack on the Normandy even the hardest of soldiers would be scared of venturing into space again. Alex seemed to relax, letting the calm infect her.

They didn't talk at first, letting the silence reign between them. Then she stopped and looked up at a gash in the hull of the ship. It had caused the death of most of the ship's crew when their shields failed but it provided a wonderful view of the stars that surrounded them. Alex stopped and looked up, a sigh coming over the coms.

"One of the things I miss from the Normandy was the sunroof over my bed. I could lay there for hours as we went from planet to planet and watch the stars fly by. I'll never tire of that view." She spoke softly.

Hackett pushed himself over until he stood beside her. His arm went around her and pulled her close until she laid her head on his shoulder. "You never were one to stay planet side long."

"Most of my life was spent in space." Alex explained. "When my boots were dirt side I'd feel boxed in. It was as if the planet was closing in on me. Now on a ship, I had all the entire expanse open to me."

She laughed and pulled away from him. "Funny when you think about it. A room on a space ship was often no bigger than five by five. Most of the time you could touch all your walls without moving."

Hackett watched her as a smile pulled his lips. "But you knew outside those walls there was no end. You could look out the window and not see a single soul for miles."

"And, god, did I love it. I'd have joined the navy but I was better with a rifle then at a console. I think I'd go insane if I had to watch numbers all day. I wanted to help people."

He nodded and moved closer to her, grabbing her hand in his. "You went far and beyond your call of duty Alex. You helped millions of people, saved too many for count. We'd have given you anything, including retirement."

Alex touched her free hand to the side of his helmet, offering him a smile before pulling away. She didn't answer his unasked question. Why did she leave? Why hide from everyone? How could she explain it to him and make him understand?

"Alex?" He pleaded with her as his hand reached out.

"I can't, not yet. All I can say is that I needed to leave. I couldn't stay and face everything. Please give me time."

"How much time do you need?" He asked. "I haven't pushed for the week and a half I've been aboard."

"I…"

"Captain, you need to come back now." Kiral's voice interrupted her.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, already heading for the exit.

"A Spectre ship just jumped through the relay."

Alex cursed and moved faster. "Luka and Meris?"

"Already aboard."

"Have them get ready just in case. Tell Chris to meet me in engineering." Alex ordered.

"Why the hurry Alex?" Hackett asked while he went after her. "You're doing nothing illegal and I can vouch for you."

Alex sigh, "I don't have time to explain but let's just say that there's merchandise aboard my ship not entirely accounted for on invoices."

"Alex?" His voice dropped, almost into a growl. Could the rumors of the smuggling be true?

"Not now."

* * *

She didn't even take the time to remove all of her suit. Her helmet dangled from her fingers as she charged into engineering with Hackett hot on her heels. Christopher was waiting for her, puzzlement on his face. "Chris, what in here is easily replaced by something on the other ship but would cripple us?"

Chris blinked as he looked around. "I… I don't know it would depend on the class of the ship and how serious you want the damage. The thermal pipe but that would lead to ezo leakage. The wiring could be fried, but then we wouldn't have power to life support. There's…"

Alex interrupted him as she yanked the siding off one of the walls. She'd spent hours upon hours down here when they were refurbishing the ship and knew where the important bits were. "Come on Christopher! It would have to be something you could've patched together but would have given at anytime leaving us dead in the water. The relay opened and we thought luck was on our side…"

"Yes, yes I see what you mean now." Alex grabbed a tool from his kit and yanks some wiring aside. The wrench came down, busting a piece of machinery inside. Right away the ship started to list to the side and Kiral's curses filled the air.

"The coils, they're important enough to kill us but I could easily…" He droned off as he got to work. Some sparks flew as he cursed and spliced things together. The work around was put just into place as the Spectre shipped hailed them.

"Captain?" Kiral asked before she answered them.

"Send an invitation Kiral." Alex replied, patting Christopher on the back. "I'll meet them in the mess."

She was expecting a turian or an asari to round the corner. They were the more likely Spectre candidate this side of the galaxy. Humans and salarians handled the other side with the single krogan running somewhere in the middle. What came around the corner and through the door surprised her. The quarian was armed to the teeth. An assault rifle and rocket launcher was attached to his back in addition to the arc pistol at his hip. His armor wasn't the thin material she had grown to seeing Tali wearing. Instead, the material was thicker and had places where it looked as hard as plate. The quarian marines had undergone a retrofit that she wasn't aware of.

He nodded at her upon entering the room and stood at attention across the table form her. "My name is Jona'Hazt vas Rannoch, First Marine and Spectre…."

Alex didn't hear the rest of his speech. Upon mention of his name she gained a tunnel vision. The edges began to fade and ringing began in her hearing. She fell into a chair, her hands gripping the edge of the table as it came for her.

_Gunfire echoed around them as the night closed in. Geth lingered around every corner, waiting for them to make a mistake. They made slow desperate progress. The jamming tower needed shut down. Thousands of lives depended on that one fact. Then she heard the cough and Tali called out as she run forward before Alex could stop her._

'_Shepard! There's someone alive.' The quarian called out and Alex rushed to her side. 'It's okay, we're here.'_

_Alex knelt down and did a scan with her omnitool, already knowing that there was nothing they could do. The man's suit was punched with holes and blood ran freely as it soaked the ground under him. 'You a soldier?'_

_He shook his head. 'Maintence. Dom'Hazt. I…' He coughed and groaned as his wounds gushed. 'I clean engine parts.'_

'_Don't move, we've got medigel.' Alex urged, wanting to save at least one of them._

'_No, I've lost too much blood. Go,' He pointed down the path where they could just barely see the tower. 'Find the Admiral. Destroy the jamming tower and you can radio him.'_

'_We'll find him Dom.' Tali spoke softly, fighting back tears. 'I promise.'_

'_Please listen. The civilian fleet didn't want this war. If there's even a change Admiral Koris can get us out…' Dom's body tightened as he fought back the pain. 'And my son, tell him, Jona, that his father made it too the homeworld.'_

"Captain!" Alex came back to Jona shaking her.

"I'm okay." She reassured him and sent him a smile. "Just something I've gotten use to since the war."

He watched her for a moment before nodding and stepping away. "PTSD is common in a lot of soldiers that served. Where did you fight?"

"Here and there." Alex answered. "I don't deal with quarians much. You remind me of someone I served with."

"Ahh, you were one of the N7?"

She nodded, taking the half truth. "It doesn't matter. I'm Captain Alex Willows, welcome to the Gryphon. How can I help you Spectre?"

He let it be, seeing that the subject was difficult for her. "The council sent me to secure cargo that is on the ship you're currently docked with. Tell me Captain, what are you doing here?"

"We were on our way to Palavan when we experience engine trouble. We thought we'd be limping for the rest of the journey when sensors picked up the new relay." Alex replied, expertly weaving the little lie she made up. "We were hoping that the ship would have the part we'd need. I was just suiting up when you hailed us."

Jona sifted his footing as he listened. With a huff, he relaxed his stance and spoke. "What is wrong? Maybe I have the part in my ship."

"My engineer says it was the compression coil. You'd have to ask him for more details. I don't know heads from tails down there."

He hummed and nodded. "Where is your engineer?"

"With the engine, the boy wouldn't leave it if you had a crowbar and a gun to his head."

"Then you'll take me down there."

Alex frowned. She didn't appreciate taking orders on her ship. It had been a pet peeve of hers that lingered from her military days. She had to fight the urge to growl at him as she stood. "Follow me."


	7. Chapter 7

A/n: Very mature content ahead. Enjoy

-brittsis

* * *

They were flying again, leaving the Spectre and the dead ship behind. Alex did some impressive acting and fooled the quarian. He helped them repair the ship then ushered them along without even a quick search of the ship. Hack would be impressed if he wasn't so angry. How could she lie to him? If she had just told him the truth, explained that they were searching for equipment they could poach and later sell, Hackett would have understood. A lot of people turned smuggler after the war. The military and government battled them daily but regulations were becoming harder and harder to control as more laws passed.

Truth was most smugglers did good work. They brought food and clothes in, giving them to refugees. Some would sneak equipment and supplies into camps to help with rebuild. Most though, most were bad. They'd bring in drugs and weapons, enticing the rebellion that simmered just below the surface. More and more riots broke out as things became worse. Populations needed just one tap to overflow and become rabid.

Hackett was determined to find out where Alex lay and what her motives were. He couldn't see her enticing violence but he also didn't see her smuggling. What happened to the law abiding girl he knew?

Kiral had reported that the captain had retired to her cabin. The turian tried to stop him, threatening bodily harm if he bothered her. Hackett ignored her temper and practically ran to Alex's quarters. He pounded on the door, not letting up until the door slide open to a very grumpy woman.

"What?" Alex growled out, eyes narrowed.

The words died on his tongue as he looked at her. She had stripped out of her armor but was still in the under armor suit. Her hair had come out of its braid in several places and her skin was pale. Her eyes, although narrowed, were tired. Dark circles marred the skin under her eyes and her shoulders sagged. Something had happened.

"Steven, unless this is very important I suggest you leave me alone. I'm not in the mood." Alex hissed, pulling him from his observation.

He pushed into her room and ignored her growl. "I wanted to talk but I've changed my mind about the topic."

She sighed and closed her door. Going over to her chair, she sat down and rubbed her temple trying to urge the headache from behind her eyes. "I don't have much energy to argue, so please go ahead then leave."

He frowned and crossed to her, kneeling in front of her. "What happened? Why are you so pale?"

Alex fought the urge to back away and hide. It was a habit she'd formed all those years ago. She couldn't afford to appear weak, not when a galaxy had sat upon her shoulders. Now was different. Now only her ship and her crew depended on her. It had been a refreshing change but the past had a horrible way of sneaking up on you. Instead of pulling away from him, she spoke softly. "Did you have a chance to meet the Spectre while he was aboard?"

Hackett nodded, "Jona? He made Spectre a few years ago; first quarian to get the rank and youngest Spectre ever. Why?"

"I… his…." Alex groaned and rubbed her face hard. "During the war, during the attack on Rannoch, I met his father. By the time I found him…"

"Alex?" Hackett asked softly, pulling her hands into his. He kissed her palms softly and watched her eyes focus a moment before clouding again.

"I had the choice. The geth or the quarians. The fate of an entire species on my hands." She spoke slowly, her mind half there and half here. She could hear Tali and Legion pleading. They both wanted everything from her and she had to choose. Her vision blurred with the memory and the tears threatening to give. "It was close, too close. I almost didn't get them both to stand down and see reason. But it was all for nothing. I had to sacrifice them anyways."

Hackett frowned. His hand brushed her hair from her face then pulled her in. She fell to her knees beside her as he held her close. Fingers gripped his shirt as she struggled to stay. Alec wasn't sure she'd survive another vision today. Desperate she looked up and captured his lips in hers.

Hunger raced through her as the voices whispered in her ears. He tried to push her back but she only held tighter. "Please, I just… Make me forget."

"Alex, no. We should…" He was silenced by her mouth. Lust shot through him as her body pressed against his. Teeth nipped at his lips until they opened then he could only taste her. Hackett groaned and quit fighting.

Desperate fingers stripped clothing away sometimes ripping the cloth. He peeled her under suit off, using it to pin her arms behind her. Lips left hers and traveled down. Alex arched as he bit down on her shoulder. "Now, please just now." She begged struggling against the material.

Hackett chuckled and freed her. She quickly stood and stripped the thing off, revealing her military issue underwear and bra. He sucked in a harsh breath at the sight. So many years he imagined this moment and it paled in comparison.

"Steven," Alex gasped as his fingers bruised her hips. He nuzzled and nipped at her clothed sex causing her to curse. He hooked one of her legs over his shoulder and got to work teasing her. Lips, tongue, and teeth tormented her as she could only hold on.

Her fingers grabbed his hair, urging him on as she rocked her hips in time with his movements. Just when she thought she couldn't take anymore, he tore the cloth from her body and started all over again. Her pleas echoed off the walls as his tongue found purchase. Alex moaned as he fed. His fingers joined his mouth and a brush of her clit sent her over the edge.

Hackett couldn't help but grin as her muscles tightened against his fingers. When the tremors passed, he removed his fingers and cleaned them off with his tongue. She watched him, her eyes going sharp with need. Alex pulled him to his feet and pushed him onto her chair. Lips found his again.

Alex hovered over him as she undid his trousers. He lifted his hips but she pushed him back down, reaching in and pulling him free. He groaned as her fingers circled him. Hackett tried to thrust into her hand but she pushed him back into the chair. In retaliation, his teeth captured her lip and bit down until she gasped. He used the distraction and tugged her against him.

Her legs straddled him but she kept her hand on him. They fought for control. Him with his teeth and her with her hand. Hackett gripped her hips hard and moved her closer until the tip of him brushed her. She moaned and moved her hand. Hackett surged forward and groaned as she closed around him.

"Mine," He growled as he controlled her movements.

Alex shook her head and tugged his hair. "No ones."

"Mine," He repeated and quickened the pace.

"Fuck you." Alex managed out in a gasp.

Hackett bit her again, this time breaking skin and leaving an imprint on her neck. Alex cried out in pain and pleasure as he pounded into her. She reached between them and stroked her own clit as he took her nipple into his mouth. She threw her head back as she came once again.

Before she could recover, Hackett pulled from her and lifted her up. She whimpered at the loss and bucked as she tried to find purchase. He stood and dropped her onto the desk. Pinning her against the cold metal he entered her again in a quick hard thrust.

"Mine," He growled out again as fingers bruised her skin.

Alex struggled at first, instinct combating his dominance. She bared her teeth as she hissed. "No ones."

"You will learn." He grinned and lifted her leg up. Teeth found her sensitive skin as he continued to pump into her. Alex lifted her hips and gasped as he found that right movement. She reached toward him only to have her wrists circled and held above her. He bit her breasts harder and harder until she cried out in pain.

"Come for me Alex." He ordered as he reached between them. "Yell my name."

"Never." She cursed and arched into his touch. Eyes rolled in the back of her head as she fell once again. He followed right behind her, continuing his thrusts as he emptied into her.

Hackett could feel himself softening but didn't pull out. Instead he hauled her back up to him and kissed her. They were both panting when they finally calmed down. He cursed against her skin but didn't move to pull away. "We need to talk."

Alex nodded as she wrapped her arms around him. "We might want to put some clothes on first."


	8. Chapter 8

a/n: Have a little fluff for desert. I have a tumblr guys. Links on my profile.

-brittsis

* * *

Penguins, the word still brought her dangerously close to giggles. It was so ridicules and out of place in the bed. Then again that was the point. It would stop them both and keep someone from getting hurt. When you had two dominates in the bed room fighting for control a safe word was necessary. Alex sighed as she placed a hand on the bite mark on her neck. She applied medigel but the mark was still there and still burned. If her implants had been still active the mark would be gone but since the beam she'd been forced to heal the normal way.

"Captain, you going to help or stand there and day dream all day?" Luka grunted as he moved crates around.

Alex pulled her thoughts from last night and moved to help push the crates. They needed to make room so they could access the hidden compartment and take inventory of the goods they gathered. "You know how it is Luka."

He grinned at her, "You have one night of steamy sex and suddenly you can't concentrate. I know it's not your first, though what you see in the old man is questionable."

She paused, her eyes narrowing at the krogan. "Were you spying on me?"

He laughed at her as he hauled the large floor plating up to reveal their smugglers catch. "I'm next door Alex. Even if I couldn't hear you, which I could, I can smell it on both of you."

A blush crept up her neck, turning her face red. She hadn't considered that. She had turned to Hackett several times in the night. Every nightmare, tremor, and fear was driven away by his touch. Her muscles were sore and her skin was covered in scratches and bites. She slept maybe three hours last night but felt wonderful. Until now.

Embarrassment flooded her system. Alex hadn't even considered how thin the walls were between their quarters. When she bought the ship the captain's cabin was twice as big as it was now. She hadn't needed all the space so had built a wall to create a second room. It was just barely to code but wasn't very private. It had been quick and cheap and now she regretted it.

"Not another word, Luka." Alex chose to threaten him, hoping to bring an end to it. She should have known better.

Luka grinned at her. "You screamed quite a few last night."

She growled in warning but he wasn't finished yet. He just grinned further as he spoke. "Hey, next stop can we pick up an asari maiden? Preferably a stripper?"

"Like she'd want anything to do with your scaly ass," Alex bit back.

He laughed and hauled the first crate from the hold. "I'm just saying that being one of your oldest and most loyal crew has earned me some perks."

Alex snorted, "Kiral's been here the longest and Christopher is the most loyal. He's the only one that just follows my orders without question."

"That boy worships you."

"No he doesn't." Alex stressed. "If it's not a direct order, he argues me to death. He's stubborn and won't hear a word I say."

"Yes, he does." Luka replied and looked her dead in the eye. "You're the great Captain Willows. You plucked that boy from the gutters of Omega and gave him a life. If you hadn't of been there, he'd probably have joined a mercenary group or be dead. The kid knows this. That's why he came back."

Alex froze, a frown creasing her face. She didn't want to believe it. The last thing she wanted was to be worshipped. It was the main reason she decided to disappear. When one was exalted one had certain expectation to meet. They were placed on pedestals and idolized. The weight on her shoulders had been too much and the survivor's guilt that came with it too big.

As memory started to come back, Alex had almost suffocated in it and the PTSD. It had become a demon that still haunted her. Randomly she'd be reminded of the smallest thing and the darkness would consume her. There had been weeks at a time that nightmares had kept her awake. She'd be jittery all day and unable to settle at night. Even after she got her ship and escaped to the stars it stalked her.

At first she pushed through it. Alex did her best to ignore the beast that whispered in her ear and brought memories to life. Then she started drinking. It started small. A glass to help her sleep quickly turned into a bottle to tuck her in. It didn't take long for the habit to develop and become something too big to handle. For two years she relied on the liquid. Then she almost got them all killed and was scared sober. She hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since.

Now Alex managed with sheer will and physical activity. She sparred with Luka often and found a partner at every port. It worked with only a few episodes leaking through sparingly. They often are triggered by an outside force, like seeing Jona yesterday. Being thanked was her biggest trigger of all. As a result she avoided good deeds like a plague and committed to a life of crime and profit. But she couldn't run from it forever.

"I…" Alex gulped for air as her fists tightened until her nails bit into her palms. "I'll be back."

"Hey!" Luka called out to her as she ran from the cargo bay but she wasn't listening.

* * *

Alex rushed into the engine room, finding Christopher fiddling with the engine. She rushed over to him and pulled him away until he looked at her. "You owe me nothing, you understand?"

Christopher frowned, "What are you talking about now?"

"You owe me nothing. I did what I did because it was the right thing to do. Any decent human being would have done it."

"Alex, you need to be more specific." Christopher sighed.

She growled in frustration and paced the room. "Look, I don't expect anything from you. You don't have to feel like you're indebted to me because of what I did. You don't have to stay here in a desperate act to pay me back. You want to go to college? How about to the quarians? They're the best place to learn about engines. We could get you enrolled in one of their academies and I take a quarian on their pilgrimage. Or the salarians, they're not as specialized but their engineering prog…"

"Alex breath!" Chris interrupted her, stopping her with a hand on her shoulder. "What is going on?"

Alex gulped air as she struggled to push the panic back. It gripped her heart and refused to release its death grip. Her teeth worried at her lip while her body fidgeted. Eyes never stopped moving as they searched for the enemy not there. She shifted her stance and forced herself to think. "I don't want to be worshipped. I don't want people to thank me. I don't want to be placed on that damn pedestal as my friends are ignored. God damn it, I didn't do it alone."

Chris felt the understanding snap into place. He knew why she ran, why she hid away on a dingy ship in the middle of nowhere. He was there when she first struggled with her guilt and panic. Memories of her waking up scream were still fresh in his mind even if ten years had passed. "Alex, you think I came back because I felt I owed you something?"

She nodded, "Why else? You had everything you could wish for back on earth. An apartment, school, friends. Everything was paid for, you didn't have a worry in the world."

"I didn't have you."

Alex's skin crawled as he looked her in the eye and refused to look away. She shook her head and tried to back away but Christopher only followed her.

"Yes, you saved me from the horrors on Omega. But how many people would take the time to make sure the little boy that tried to steal their money had a warm belly and a soft bed to sleep on? You're a saint Alex, whether you want to admit it or not. A regular paragon. Do you want to know why I insisted on staying?"

She shook her head and tried to escape. Christopher stepped to the side and blocked her. He only grinned at her as she stared at him in panic. "Christopher, don't say it."

"I insisted on staying because you're the only family I have left." He explained, ignoring her plea. "We may not share blood but you're the only mother I remember, a big sister that protects me from the darkest shadows in the galaxy."

"I don't do it for praise."

"And that's what makes it so much purer." He smiled at her and took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze. "I love you, Alex Shepard."

She hissed at the name but melted anyways. With tears in her eyes she pulled him into a hug. "I love you too, Christopher Valle."

He chuckled and hugged her back. "Okay, now that we got that out of the way, can I get back to work?"

Alex laughed and whipped the tears off her cheeks. "Just don't tell anyone. I need to keep the bad ass appearance going. Keeps the passengers scared."

"You're secrets safe with me sis."


	9. Chapter 9

An uneventful week had passed. The crew was getting restless and she could see the beginning of cabin fever in the asari guest. Luckily Palavan was in sight and they could all get much needed shore leave. They'd be in dock for three days while cargo was unloaded and paid for. Kiral would refuel the ship while Christopher would requisition essentials. Luka, Meris, and herself would head to shadier parts with packs full of illegal goods. The problem would be avoiding Hackett.

Alex still hadn't explained everything. Whenever he tried to talk, she'd either walk away or kiss him until he forgot. The tactic worked for now but she could see it wouldn't work for long. He was getting more persistent every day but she couldn't find the words to explain it yet.

She was currently hiding in the cockpit, shadowing Kiral as she cleared the relay. The energy faded and they were instant hailed by traffic control. Kiral frowned at her before she reached for the coms.

"Cargo ship, you have entered restricted space. Identify yourself."

Alex mirrored Kiral's frown and took a seat in the copilot's seat. She activated the coms and answered. "This is Captain Alex Willows of the human cargo vessel The Gryphon. Our license number is human code alpha yankee six three two sierra nine nine foxtrot."

"Hold position while we confirm."

She sat back in the chair and bit her lip in thought. She could hear Kiral growling softly as her talons tapped the console. Palavan had always been a high security port but this was worse. They'd never been stopped fresh out of the relay.

"Identification confirmed," the voice came back. "Captain Willows, please dock in Manae dock four. Deviation from the flight path sent to you will result in being fired upon."

"And this is why I left." Kiral grumbled after the com closed. She uploaded the flight path and eased the ship towards the docking station. "Shadowy orders masked with threats. You do it their way or not at all. They're up to something, mark my words."

Alex sighed and pushed from her seat. "We'll figure it out once we dock."

"Damn right we will." Kiral answered her. "What are they trying to hide this time?"

"And what did they hide last time?"

"How about the whole reaper invasion? That Commander Shepard warned them, she gave them mountains of evidence. And did they do anything about it? No, they covered it up and called her crazy." Kiral ranted as she flew. "Just continue about your business people and don't question your superiors. Ha! Almost lost us the damn war."

She couldn't help but allow a small smile to curl her lips. This is why she picked Kiral over any other pilot for hire on Omega. The turian questioned everything and wouldn't take a simple answer. It was entertaining to listen to her conspiracy theories and her inability to blindly follow orders reminded her of Garrus. "We won in the end."

"But at what cost? Billions dead, entire planets lost, government take over… Just take your pick. If they'd taken that damn stick out their ass we wouldn't be on a verge of economic crash and struggling to survive."

"You don't have to tell me." Alex replied back, trying to calm her down. "Wait until we hit port and find some bar like you usually do."

Kiral grunted, "Been a while since I've been in a good bar fight. I could blow off a little steam."

"There you go." Alex patted her shoulder. "Take us in, Kiral."

"Yes Captain."

* * *

"What do you mean we can't leave the ship?" Alex shouted at the official blocking her cargo bay. "We need provisions and I have business in port."

"Two hundred units of provisions will be brought to your…"

"A week! It's two weeks to the next stop!" She growled out, getting in the man's face. He didn't budge but for just a twitch of his mandibles.

"We understand but with rationing you could leave turian space…"

"Leave? That's a four week voyage. You expect us to make it four weeks with only a week of food? What the hell is going on here?"

His mandibles tightened against his face but he remained at parade rest, staring at a spot just over her shoulder. "That is classified Captain. The only reason you were allowed to dock was because of the supplies you were carrying. Otherwise, you'd have been sent on your way."

Alex growled and fought for control. She wanted to deck the man but it wouldn't do any good. He was only following orders. "I want to speak to whoever is in charge."

"General Dorian is very busy and can't waste time speaking with a civilian captain. You've been given your rations and fuel. Once we finish unloading, you will leave turian space."

Fury flashed through her as she screamed and stormed off. It was no use. They needed more food, water, and fuel but the liaison wouldn't listen to a word she was saying. For the first time in years she regretted leaving her old identity behind. Commander Shepard could have opened any doors. The turians would have given her anything she'd have wanted and more. Hell the red carpet would've been rolled out and a banquette held in her honor. But she wasn't Commander Shepard anymore and Captain Willows was a nobody.

* * *

"Meris," Alex entered the mess area and waived the salarian over to her. Going over to the corner, she whispered to the woman. "Can you get off the ship without anyone seeing you?"

Meris raised a brow at her in answer, causing Alex to grin.

"How many can you sneak out?"

Meris narrowed her eyes in thought, her fingers tapping against her thigh. "I could take you and one other as long as they are not Luka. The big lug doesn't have a stealth bone in his body. Someone trained in war fare though, so not the boy. Maybe Kiral, but she wouldn't want to leave the ship. I would rather have her here and waiting in case we need quick exit."

Alex nodded. "So just you and me then?"

The salarian shook her head. "No, need third party member or I go alone."

Alex sighed. She didn't want her friend going in alone but they needed information and supplies. Her choices were limited though. They could bring Kiral if Christopher took the pilot's seat. Kiral had been teaching him as a backup pilot but he wouldn't be experienced enough to make the quick getaway or extraction they would need.

"I know how you feel about involving passengers…" Meris interrupted her thoughts.

Alex's eyes narrowed as she understood her meaning. She had a firm rule about mixing their legal and illegal business. It was dangerous and just begged for someone to report you. To invite the former Admiral along for the covert mission was idiotic. And yet she didn't have much choice. She cursed and rubbed her face. "I'll talk to him."

"Meet me here in twenty minutes."


	10. Chapter 10

I hope you guys enjoy this. Just a bit of fluff before some action.  
I'm always up for prompts.  
My tumblr

-brittsis

* * *

She found him in her room, eyes narrowed at the items stacked in the corner. Alex had Luka and Meris move the goods to her quarters when it became clear that something was wrong. It made it easier for them to access it without having to access the smuggler's catch but let it out in the open. He was frowning at the piles of electronics and weapons, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. When Alex entered, he turned those eyes on her and she felt her knees go weak.

"Steven," Alex shook it off. "I have a favor to ask."

"What the hell is going on?" Hackett spat out. He picked up a pistol and waved it at her. "This thing has three illegal mods and the registration has been wiped clean."

"It's merchandise." She explained.

"Oh is that all? Who are you going to sell it to?"

Alex shrugged, "Whoever is willing to pay the price."

He growled and tossed the weapon aside. "Are you going to answer my questions or just shrug them off?"

"We don't have time for this."

"Alex, you've avoided my questions since I've come on board." He marched over to her and slammed her against the wall, blocking her off with his arms. "I'm welcome in your bed but not your head?"

"You don't want in my head. Sometimes I don't even want in here."

"I love you." His eyes narrowed as she flinched and looked away. "I want every part of you, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Why Alex? Why turn to smuggling?"

"Because no one thanks me," Alex whispered.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Alex cursed her slip and tried to dodge under his arms. He only shifted and blocked her again. He waited, silence filling the room as he waited for her to speak. She could hear the time slipping away and knew her options were running out. Frowning, she looked away from him as she spoke. "During the war I made choices. Some were good while others were bad. It didn't matter though. No matter what I did, someone was thanking me. Hundred would die and someone would thank me."

"Alex…" Hackett's voice softened as he cupped her cheek. When she looked up, he gave her a light kiss.

She pulled away and evaded to the other side of them room. "I need your help."

He sighed, deciding to let it go for now. "What do you need?"

"I need to get to Palavan. Meris said she could get me off the ship but we need another team mate. Can you gear up?"

He nodded, "Where do you want me to meet you?"

"The cockpit in twenty," Alex answered him.

* * *

They moved silently through the city. It had taken a lot of skill and patience but Meris has commandeered a shuttle and gotten them planet side. They'd landed in a city still in ruin. Scars from the war were everywhere, each refusing to be erased. The sight weighed heavily on her heart. Alex fought back the guilt and forced herself to concentrate. It only took a moment's distraction to destroy them and she wouldn't allow anything to happen. The mission was too important and too many lives depended on its success.

"We're being followed." Hackett whispered over the comms.

Meris nodded, "I'm just waiting for them to show themselves."

"Well let's give them an invite then." Alex stood from cover and placed her rifle down. Her hands went into the air as she spun. "We're not here to fight. I'm just looking for answers."

Hackett cursed and tried to pull her back into cover. She swatted his hand away and continued. "We just want to know what's going on."

Several minutes passed before a turian appeared. He was young, couldn't have been more than twelve. Still he stood tall and held a rifle on her as he spoke. "What would two humans and a salarian be doing on Palavan?"

"I'm Captain Alex Willows of the cargo ship The Gryphon." Alex explained, walking closer. "My ship was employed to make a delivery. We were grounded on Manae and were rewarded with death. I'm looking for answers and possible help."

He drew his mandibles in tight as he considered her words. "We can't offer much help. We're in the middle of a war."

Alex swallowed hard, goose bumps covering her skin. So many images came to her head. Death, destruction, and pain ruled her for several minutes as she struggled to breathe.

"Alex?" Hackett asked, worry in his voice.

She pulled herself together, fighting for her sanity. Her eyes closed as she willed her mind to obey. "Can you take me to your superior?"

He shifted on his feet nervously. Eyes searched the area while his aim waivered. Alex forced herself to smile and put the bpy at ease. "I'll let you hold our weapons."

He nodded, "My name is Leoke Vitkal."

* * *

The people had rebelled against the Hierarchy. They're loyalty had been stretched too far. Enough was enough and no longer would they sit by while the lower cast starved and lived in squalor. The people rose up and declared war. Now the Hierarchy was blocking off the relay and any supplies that could help them. Two weeks in and they'd lost a third their troops to hunger and exhaustion. Something needed to be done.

Alex stood guard, lending aid while she tried to come up with a plan. It was evident that the rebellion was in the right. The Hierarchy had taxed them too harshly and rationed them too death. Support went to career military and prominent families, exhausting them long before they got to the people that needed them. It was disgusting at how quickly people had forgotten the one lesson the Reapers had taught them.

"Alex, I can see that brain of yours working." Hackett spoke from his spot beside her.

She sighed, "I tried so hard to hide away. No matter what I do, trouble follows me. A stranded passenger vessel, batarian pirates attacking a port, a child crying over his dead mother, now a god damn war that the good guys are losing."

Cursing, Alex rubbed her face hard and shifted on her feet. "I've got several hundred thousand of credits in my smugglers catch. I only need to walk away and sell it on the Citadel. Luka would be able to buy that new armor. Meris could pay the bounty on her head and maybe return to Sur'Kesh. I could afford an engine rebuild and start on that retirement fund. But all I can think is that without it, all these people are going to die. Once again I'm trying to be the fucking hero."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Don't you fucking get it?" She yelled, fingers itching to grab something and start throwing. "I left that life behind. I'm a fucking smuggler and sometimes pirate. I turned to a life of crime so I can avoid becoming someone hero. I don't want this!"

Hackett walked over to her, taking her hands in his. "Sometimes it's not what we want. Sometimes fate plays it hands and we're forced to become who we're meant to be. You are Alex Shepard… No don't flinch from it. You can change your name and fake your death but you can't change who you are. You, my love, are a hero."

"Fuck," She knew he was right and part of her melted at his words. A zebra couldn't change her stripes. Hackett had seen right through her and spoke a truth she'd been hiding from for the last ten years. And to make matters worse, Alex found herself slipping. She was falling for the man and didn't want to.


	11. Chapter 11

NSFW content ahead. Just a warning. At the end of the chapter.

-brittsis

* * *

"Luka won't be happy." Meris spoke after hearing what Alex had offered the rebel general.

Alex frowned, "He'll just have to deal with it. I'm only giving them the weapons and heat sinks."

"That's still over half of our goods, most of which were heading for Omega."

"I'll deal with her."

Meris sighed and shook her head. "You're either very brave or very stupid to go against the Queen of Omega."

"Neither," Alex explained. "Aria and I go a ways back. Let's just say her and I have an arrangement."

"Meaning?"

"Neither of us wants to test each other in a fight." Alex allowed the slight smile to escape.

Meris huffed, "A little cocky don't you think?"

She shook her head. "No, just the truth."

"It's a waste though," Meris tried to change topics, hoping to save their income. "You and I both know that without some serious help they're not going to win."

Alex decided to ignore that statement. She looked up at the sky in thought, looking for the ship she was expecting any second. After making the deal, Alex had contacted Kiral and gave her orders. The pilot was to shake her guard and make her way planet side. Once the ship landed, Kiral and Luka were going to join the ground team for a mission.

Part of the deal involved food. As payment for the weapons, the rebels were going to help them raid a food store. While they pressed the attack elsewhere, Alex and her team would infiltrate and commandeer several months' worth of provisions.

"Alex…" Meris called her from her thoughts. "What's the plan?"

"We're going to get our food and leave."

"But…"

Alex shook her head. "It's not our fight. There is too much at stake here and too high of a chance of it spilling over. The galaxy won't survive through another large scale war."

* * *

Luka was pissed. As soon as he learned about her plan he had started yelling. The ship hadn't been on the ground more than a few minutes before he started. The shouting match had almost come to blows several times. In the end, Alex had laid down the law. She was Captain; it was her ship, her goods. If he didn't like it he could get the fuck off her ship. With a roar, he stomped off and hid in his quarters and refused to leave.

Kiral had piloted the ships small shuttle while Meris, Hackett, and Alex checked their weapons in the passenger compartment. Meris made adjustments to her omnitool as she spoke. "What's the plan?"

Alex adjusted her rifles sights, "You and Hackett are going to circle around the back while I hit the front."

Hackett frowned, "Alone?"

She shrugged, "I'd had preferred Luka's help but beggars can't be choosers."

"I don't like this."

"I've faced worse."

"Alex…"

She interrupted him with a look. Going over, he placed his helmet on and placed a kiss on the face plate. "Trust me. I can handle this."

"She's right." Meris hooked her own helmet in place. "I've seen her take out an entire pirate base while Luka and I only performed clean up."

"I don't like it." Hackett growled but let it go. At least until she opened the hatch and gave him a salute before stepping out. "God damn it."

Meris laughed, "I don't know where she learned that but it never gets old."

* * *

Alex threw a frag grenade before taking cover around the room. It shattered bringing cries of pain. She spun and took out the remaining guards with her assault rifle. Each squeeze of the trigger was measured and not a single bullet was wasted. It was easy to remember the steps. Sight, squeeze the trigger, grenade, concussion shot, and end it with omni blade stab.

The room was cleared and she was surrounded with blood and body. Her breathing was heavy and her heart was wild. Shaking, she stepped around her kills and headed for the next room.

She met up with the others near the vault. Meris was already working on the door while Hackett watched her back. He spotted her come through the door and let out the breath he was holding. He couldn't stop worrying about her. "Alex?"

Alex gave him thumbs up and took her spot near the door. "Meris?"

The salarian grunted and changed tactics, "just a few more minutes."

She cursed as reinforcements started down the hall. Alex pulled out her last grenade and tossed it into the opening. "You've got five."

Hackett hurried to her side and opened fire on the survivors. "Come here often?"

Alex chuckled, "Seems that way. Never seen you here before."

"I tend to stay back and give orders. I like giving orders."

* * *

Her blood was pumping as she paced the small cabin of the shuttle. Alex had never been able to sit still right after a firefight. Adrenaline kept her active until she found a way to get rid of it. She bit her lip as she glanced at Hackett. He sat, relaxed, on the bench. His eyes followed her and she groaned at the hunger in them.

"Stop looking at me like that." She hissed at him before continuing her pacing.

He smiled slowly as he continued to watch her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Steven," She hissed at him again. Her eyes settled on the door that separated them from the pilot's area. Meris and Kiral was inside, watching for pursuit. They were racing back to the rebel camp after the successful raid, hoping they wouldn't be discovered.

"They'd never know." Hackett spoke softly and reached for her.

Alex went to him, straddling his waist. Their lips connected in a burning kiss as fingers worked quickly on armor. Practice and urgency had the necessary pieces removed in record time. His teeth latched onto her lips as she growled at him. She took his hands and put them behind his back. "Stay or else."

"Alex," he warned and moved to grab her.

She growled at him again, "My way or I walk away."

She watched his eyes darken as he watched her. Neither moved for several seconds as a silent war was waged. In the end, he surrendered and put his hands behind his back.

Alex grinned and pushed him down in the chair until she towered over him. She took precious time to grind against him. His bulge grew as clothed sex slide together. Hackett muffled a groan by biting his tongue. She gasped as her body pressed against his. She needed him and the realization sent a chill down her spine. There was a large gap between want and need. It was a gap that she had never crossed before.

Cursing, Alex reached between them and removed the final barrier. Her fingers gripped the back of the bench as she sank slowly onto him. Inch by agonizing inch, she took him into her. By the time she accepted all of him she was shaking.

Hackett cursed and fought every instinct that urged him to grab her. He wanted to surge up into her and take possession. Every nerve in his body itched to take charge and pound into her until she begged for release. Instead he watched her, their eyes connecting as she started moving on him. His tongue wet his lips as she fought to keep silent. She was beautiful.

"Alex," Hackett whispered a please.

"Not yet." She answered him, her forehead connecting with his.

Their breaths mixed as they stared into each other eyes. Her hands moved from the bench to his neck, fingers dancing a cross his skin. She kissed him in a long passionate kiss, taking her time to taste him.

Pulling away from the kiss, Alex watched him. His eyes had closed sometime during the kiss. Every muscle in his body was taught as he fought for control. Smiling she cupped his check and brushed his lips with her thumb. Hackett opened his eyes and she gasped at the emotion in them.

Alex swallowed and leaned in. Her teeth nibbled on his ear before she whispered his name. "Steven, take me."

He roared as he hands rushed to grab her. Fingers pressed against old bruises, reawakening them. Hackett lifted her up and stood. Her back slammed against the side of the shuttle. Before she could protest, he lifted a leg and drove into her.

Alex had screamed. Only Hackett's lips on hers had kept the sound from alerting the others. He kept the pace hard and fast as his teeth worked her lips and neck. One hand gripped her hip while the other circled her throat. A tight grip held her in place giving her no room to return his thrusts.

"Oh god," Alex whimpers out. Her nails scrambled over his armor, searching for any purchase.

"Look at me." Hackett growled out, squeezing tighter. "Mine."

When she didn't answer him, he stopped moving. Alex whimpered and tried to move only to be stopped. She swallowed and cried out for mercy.

"Who do you belong to?" Hackett snarled into her ear.

Alex gasped and tried to move again. In retaliation, he pulled from her completely and pinned her hands above her head. He used his other hand to cup himself. Hackett smiled wide while she cursed him and struggled to get free. "If you don't answer me, I'll finish without you."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Who do you belong to Alex?"

"Fuck you."

Hackett chuckled and leaned in to smell her hair. "You're running out of time."

"Fucker."

"I'd love to but you refuse to answer me."

Alex cursed him again and tried to free herself. His grip was locked and it was useless. She never should have surrendered her control and now pride and stubbornness stood in the way. Instead of giving in, Alex steeled herself and lifted her chin in defiance.

He chuckled at her determination and kissed her hard, avoiding her teeth. His lips left a trail down her jaw until he could reach that soft skin just below her ear. Teeth sank into flesh as he stroked himself a couple more times. He groaned as he bucked into his hand, finding his release.

His grip didn't loosen until he was finished. Stepping back, he grinned at her. "I should make you clean this up but that would be a reward wouldn't it."

Alex snarled at him, her hand going right for her sex. He grabbed her wrist and yanked it away. Hackett bared his teeth as he spoke slowly. "You're not allowed to touch yourself. You're not allowed to come until I tell you so. If I catch you or so much as suspect that you broke these rules you're punishment will be severe. Don't test me."

The look in his eyes had her swallowing and her stomach go tight. A fresh wave of lust washed through her and Alex already regretted her action. She clenched her legs together and hoped for some kind of relief. His eyes narrowed and Alex relaxed her muscles.

"Steven," She pleaded instead.

He grinned at her. "No time, we'll be landing soon."


	12. Chapter 12

They hid just behind the relay. For now they were out of sight and off the sensors. It wasn't the best hiding spot but it provided the quickest retreat. They received food and fuel but it wouldn't last. They'd need to make a short jump without stops. If anything should happen, they'd be dead in the water without any hope. Alex knew where they needed to go and she knew they wouldn't be happy.

Passengers were sent to the mess to await her announcement. The crew gathered in the cockpit and Alex headed right there after putting her armor away. Kiral sat in the pilot's seat, her eyes glued to the sensors. Chris sat beside her, attention split between her lesson and Alex entering the room. Meris and Luka were arguing in harsh whispers in the corner of the room. Meris had an eyebrow cocked with her arms crossed while Luka gestured angrily.

Hackett had pushed his way into the room. They'd argued about his presence but he pointed out that she involved him twice already. She'd been hoping to get a few spare moments of peace away from him. His knowing smirk caused her stomach muscles to tighten and her skin to flush. He knew exactly what he was doing to her and he enjoyed it.

Alex crossed the room, forcing herself not to look in his direction. She rested a hip on the corner of Christopher's chair and crossed her arms. Clearing her throat, she waited until everyone was paying attention. "We're in a tricky situation."

"Only made sticker by your bleeding heart," Luka growled out.

"If I hadn't of made the deal, we would've starved before reaching a friendly port. Drop it." She snarled.

"I worked for those credits and expect to be compensated." Luka stomped over to her, poking her in the chest. "We're smugglers, not fucking heroes."

Alex stood straight and pushed him back. "I am captain of this ship. I decide what we do."

He bared his teeth, "Nothing is permanent."

The threat was clear and Alex knew she only had a few seconds to react. Her time with Wrex and Grunt had taught her many things about krogan culture. If she didn't react correctly, he'd see her as weak. Alex cursed, knowing this was going to hurt. Rearing her had back she head butted him hard enough to knock him to the floor.

Hackett was the only one to react. He pushed from the wall and hurried to her side. Her nose was bleeding and a bruise was already surfacing on her forehead. He reached for her, only to have her stop him with a glare.

Alex pulled a pistol from an ankle holster and placed it firmly against Luka's face. "Listen and listen carefully. I've fought bigger and stronger krogan than you after fighting a maw on foot. You are just a pyjak, not worth my time."

She noticed the flash of recognition in his eyes a moment before he narrowed them. Right away she knew she'd said too much. Her exploits on Tuchanka were legend to the krogan. She was the only human to be accepted into a clan. Her name meant friend and she was their biggest hero. Every visit to the war torn planet had been a risk. And now she had said too much.

Chastising herself, Alex released Luka and re-holstered her weapon. "That goes for everyone here. I am the captain. I decide what missions we take. I decide what I do with my cargo. Anyone have a problem it can get off at the next stop."

Nobody argued. Hackett was the only one that made eye contact but he wisely kept his mouth shut. Alex nodded and wiped the blood from her nose. "Kiral, head for Acrolla."

Kiral frowned at her as she inputted the coordinates. Alex frowned back at her. "Problem?"

"That port is run by the Blood Pack. They swore to kill you next time we docked there." Kiral explained.

"I can handle a few rogue vorcha and krogans. It's the only port close enough without risking running out of fuel."

Kiral sighed and scratched a mandible. "If we reduce output we can just barely make it to Tuchanka."

"I don't want just," Alex growled. "We're heading for Acrolla and that's final."

* * *

It had been a long and hard day. The firefight on Palavan, arguing with Luka, speaking with the passengers, and Hackett shadowing her everywhere had left her very tired and tense. Alex hurt all over and a pounding headache pressed against her eyes. For the first time in years she found herself thirsty. A bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey had been hidden in a wall panel of her cabin. It had been one of three bottles that survived the war and had seemed a waste to dump it with the rest of her alcohol. Instead, Alex had wrapped the bottle with an old shirt and stored away. She'd forgotten about it until now.

Hurrying across the room, she moved the bed and retrieved her treasure. The cap was still sealed and the liquid a beautiful gold. Tumblers joined the bottle on her desk and, before she could think, two fingers were poured. The scent hit her first, rich with just a hint of spice. Alex lifted the glass to her nose and took a deep sniff.

The happy memories came first. Her sip with her mother that had caused a fits of coughs. Sitting with Hackett as they shared a bottle and exchanged stories. Laughing with her crew as they gathered around the poker table.

Then came the bad. The burn in her throat. Her hand shaking as she reached for another glass only to drink straight out of the bottle. Stumbling through the ship as tears soaked her cheeks. That moment when she'd reacted too slow and failed to stop the mercenaries from boarding the ship. Accepting that she was an alcoholic and fighting the urge to take just one more sip.

Disgusted with herself, Alex slammed the glass down and caused the whiskey to spill. She fought the urge to lick her fingers clean as she stepped away from it and the temptation. What she needed was a hot shower and a release, not a fall off a six year wagon. With a snarl she tore her clothes off and headed for the small restroom.


	13. Chapter 13

a/n: Updated two chapters. 12 and 13.

Explicit chapter, entire thing nothing but mature content. Just a warning. Had these posted on my Archive account already. Might be moving all my work there. Not sure yet. But get earlier updates and other information at my tumblr. Link on my profile.

-brittsis

* * *

Hackett wasn't sure how she had lost him. Since returning from Palavan, he'd kept her in his sight. He knew she wouldn't follow his instructions. It was only a matter of time before she broke down and he intended to catch her. He started his search in the cockpit and worked slowly through the ship. He was about half way done when Christopher found him and directed him toward the Captain's quarters. It had been such an obvious choice that Hackett hadn't expected her to head there.

Without knocking, he hacked the door and stepped into the room. The living quarters were empty but he could hear the shower running in the next room. Her clothes littered the floor and a glass sat with whiskey on her desk. Hackett lifted the glass and took a sip, finding it enjoyable as it burned down his throat. He refilled the glass and sipped it as he opened the bathroom door.

Hackett leaned against the door jam and watched her. She was leaning against the wall, facing away from him. The water beat against her neck and shoulders as his eyes raked her form. Dozens of scars marred her skin, old war injuries healed. Each jagged line and puckered skin a testament to her strength and courage. Each mark had a story behind it and he knew half of them.

Her moaned echoed through the room and brought a smile to his lips. Hackett finished his drink before stripping his clothes. He stepped into the spay and wrapped his arms around her. Alex jumped in surprise and tried to turn around but he kept her facing away from him. His hand joined hers at her sex and thrust two fingers inside.

"What did I tell you?" He hissed into her ear.

"It's my body; I do what I want with it." Alex gasped out, her body bucking into his touch.

"That's where you're wrong." Hackett scrapped his teeth on the back of her neck, causing him to shiver. "Why should I reward you?"

"I've had a hard day," she gasped out as his fingers pinched her ripple hard.

"I gave you your chance earlier. You should have taken it." He thrust harder and faster into her, his nails scraping her insides.

"I'm no one's property."

Hackett growled and spun her around. His fingers left her and hands pinned her down. His body pressed against her as his erection teased her entrance. She cursed him while her body arched against him. She tried to shift her hips but he held her firm. Their eyes connected and Hackett spoke slowly and firmly. "When we're together, when you're in bed, when we're like this…"

At the word, Hackett thrust into her. He almost lost his control and had to tighten his grip on her hips to keep her still. Her orgasm ripped through them both and left her limp against him. He kissed her hars and thrust into her a few times before pulling away. Fingers fisted her hair and yanked on it until she looked at him. "You are mine, Alex. You are mine to do with as I please; mine to pleasure or punish as I see fit."

He watched the defiance spark in her eyes and her mouth open to argue. In retaliation, he yanked her hair again and bit her lip. Once he was sure she would remain silent, he continued. "Now, you've disobeyed me and need to be punished. Go stand at attention at the foot of the bed."

"Yes, sir," The confirmation came out automatically before she could think to stop it. Alex yearned for this, deep down. She didn't want to admit it, not even to herself, but Alex loved this loss of control. It was the reason she turned down Kaidan, why Zaeed hadn't cut it, and why, in the end, Garrus would never have been more than a distraction. Hackett was the first to test her, the first to dominate her in the way she craved. So she marched out of the bathroom and, still dripping wet, did as she was directed.

Alex stood perfectly still. Only years of military service kept her muscles ridged and shivering from the cold and want. Her skin prickled in goose bumps as her eyes stayed glued on the bathroom door. Anticipation had her muscles tightening and her mind going crazy. What was he doing in there? What was he planning? How would he punish her? The tension built inside her until she wanted to scream. Just when Alex didn't think she could take anymore, he stepped through the door.

Hackett had taken the time to dry his skin but had left the towel behind. Her eyes instantly went south and found him still hard and weeping for attention. Alex swallowed hard but kept still as he approached. He stroked himself a few times as he stood in front of her. His eyes narrowing until she looked away from his hand and at him.

"I've decided your punishment. This time I'll go easy because it is only your first infraction. But each time it will get worse." Hackett spoke carefully as his fingers caressed her face and lips. "Get on the bed, on all fours."

Alex hesitated only long enough for him to raise a brow. She swallowed and did as she was told. The bed creaked as she got into position. She looked over her shoulder and watched as he climbed into the bed beside her.

"I think ten swats will do it." Hackett spoke, trying to hide the grin forming on his face.

Without warning, he began. His hand landed on her bare behind in a loud slap. Alex wasn't expecting the pain. She thought he'd made a big show of the punishment, more of an act than any actual pain. It had her gasping and muffling her cries with the bedding. By the time the last spanking connected her hind quarters were bright red and silent tears brimmed her eyes.

"Good girl," Hackett murmured while he pulled her to her knees. He moved behind her and fit his body against hers. Lips caressed the back of her neck and grinned as his hand found her wet and waiting. "You like it when I punish you."

Alex shivered and bowed into his touch. She craned her neck until his lips found his in a long kiss. His mouth captured her moans as fingers pinched and caressed her folds. He fondled her breasts and worked her sex until she gasped out his name.

"Who do you belong to?" He asked as he slid over her entrance.

"You," She sobbed out. "It's always been you."

"Mine," Hackett shoved her down to the mattress and thrust into her. The pace was fast and unforgiving as all control slipped his grasp. He raced to claim her. Each of her sounds, her pleas for more, and her movements under him drove him. All finesse was abandoned as hunched over her to leave bite marks on her neck and shoulders.

Alex shouted his name and found herself hurtling over the edge. She couldn't take more. The pressure was building and she begged for it to stop. The ache grew, her toes curled, and she cried out as the release crashed over her. It was taking all her strength not to collapse under him.

"Steven," Alex whimpered.

"Just one more," He answered her as they flipped them. She lay on his chest while he thrust up into her. He snaked his hand down and pinched her clit between his fingers before circling it. It was long until she came with him right behind her.

Hackett surfaced slowly. Energy gradually leaked back into his muscles until he gathered the strength to move them. Alex whimpered in protest but snuggled close once he had them under the covers. Her eyes dropped as her legs tangled in his and she nuzzled the crook of his neck. Her held her close and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, "I love you Alex."

She mumbled something back but quickly fell before he could ask for clarification. Sighing, Hackett closed his eyes and fell asleep content.


End file.
